10 Years Ago...

10 years ago today I was a senior I in high school.  I had long blond hair, took ballet classes every day, wore approximately a size 0. (seriously.)  I was trying to make my final decision on which college to attend.

And this happened.

I had visited NYC a year before.  The World Trade Centers were HUGE. On TV, you see that they were big, but they were not big, they were HUGE.  The amount of land that the WTC complex sat on was a huge piece of land, with many buildings. 

I was in school, my history teacher told us right away that this was terrorism.  Even before the second plane hit, he knew what was going on.  I spent the rest of my day at school with my classmates, in awe and not really understanding what happened. We watched the 2nd plane hit, saw coverage on the Pentagon and the crash in Pennsylvania.  I grabbed on to the boy I barely knew next to me as the first tower fell.  We had no clue. No clue of what was happening, though we had been told, no clue of the destruction, death and hurt.  We were so far removed, so young and so naive.

We were at the age though, that we would soon learn and understand exactly what this meant.  Being 18 at the time, let us understand slowly. We watched the news all day.  i went home and watched TV all night. 

I will never forget. Though I don't know anyone who died or was hurt in the 9/11 attacks, I still think about and pray for them today.

I don't say it nearly enough, but I am PROUD and THANKFUL to be American!

Back To School

Well, I am going to do it.  Classes start on Tuesday.  I'm going back to school. Yikes.

I hated being in school, classes sucked.  Being in a classroom was just not for me.  This time, I'm trying all online classes.  University of Phoenix has a new student and hopefully I will kick it's ass.  I'd take all the good vibes you could send over!

I have a little office/classroom set up in the basement.  All new school supplies.  I'm geeked. Does that make me a geek? hm....

Moms Gone Wild!

This past weekend we went back down to Indy to hang out with my inlaws to celebrate my, hubs, B's and our nephews birthday. On Sat night though...I went out---like woah.

My friends in Indy, who I met because of a breast feeding support group, and I all ditched our kids and husbands and got a hotel room downtown.  We had a nice dinner and then.....well, lets just say I ended the night riding a mechanical bull, in a dress and woke up feeling like complete shit.

But, it was SO worth it! I have not laughed so hard in so long.  I miss my girls so much, so thankful I met them and am so thankful that we have such easy ways to stay connected!   I know we won't do that every time I see them, but I bet we do it at least once or twice a year. 

Mommas gone wild--hellz yes.

Weight Watchers **updated**

Ya know how I'm like a super fantastic blogger?  I'm that good at Weight Watchers too.

I started WW in January when my son was 3 months old.  Over the next 5 months I dropped 29lbs without doing much of anything.  ( Well, wait, I went from 217lbs when I delivered B down to around 155lbs. Too bad I didn't start WW when I weighed that awful 217lbs! I started somewhere around 185lbs) . Anyways, I  worked out a bit, but only because I needed to get out of the house and I ate whatever I wanted.  Pumping and being able to feed an army of infants was awesome. I could eat fast food and drink regular soda and still lose weight.  Now that I've gone down from pumping 8x/day to 2 or 3x/day this whole WW thing isn't so easy.

Since we moved and my sisters wedding a few weeks ago I've gained about 5lbs back.  Not so bad for not paying attention to what I eat at all and eating mostly crap.  Okay, I get it.  I can't eat Volcano Burritos everyday, but gosh, they are SO good...mmm. No! I will not get one today.

I'm pumping my boobs now, getting every.last.drop out, hopefully i can do a #2 and then go.  (gross right? no. this is how you do when you are a WW member, it's not just me! i promise.) Hopefully things went at least a little better this past week, but I'm not really counting on it.

This coming week, I will track. I WILL TRACK.....for at least 3 days.  and I will only have fast food once. or twice. crap.

**update **

So, by some crazy act of God, I am down 2.2lbs this week.  I only think that's because I pooped and pumped the bewbs before going.  Thank you diet coke for your help in that matter.

I've already had fast food twice. Sick, seriously why do I love it SOOO much?!  We're about ready to go on a road trip, then have a family get together, then a night out with some friends and then the trip back home....HELLLOOOOOOOOOO WEIGHT GAIN!  meh.

"You Smell Like Breakfast..."

yeah.  That's what my husband rolled over and said to me at 2:24 this morning.  Ever since I've been trying to get my milk back (which is going well!) I've been taking an herbal supplement called Fenugreek.  One of the side effects is making you smell like maple syrup.  and i do, all the time.  My arm pits, head, belly, boobs...syrup!

Last week in the heat wave I straight up smelled like a truck stop at breakfast. BO and Syrup.  I suppose that's better than just smelling like BO, right?

Anyways, If you have a low supply, Fenugreek is awesome.  I got it on Amazon for 6 bucks a bottle.  I got two since my super awesome lactation consultant told me that I needed to take 3 capsules 3x/day.  Also, Mothers Milk organic tea is super.  Since the weather started getting warmer I've been drinking this as an Iced tea. A packet of splenda makes it rather pleasant. I'm a fan and I recommend it!

I suck at blogging...or remembering to blog...

I really try to write updates, but apparently I have to be all like "ooh let me feed you, ooh let me wipe you" and then I also have my son to take care of.  Ha. just kidding, I don't really feed my husband, he's gotten pretty good at eating.

I have so many ideas running through my head.  The problem is, if I don't write down all of this brilliance, it goes away because my memory blows.

I don't know what it is that happens to mommas after the babes are born, but something that was once so easy---remembering to put on matching shoes--seems like rocket science.  I'm sure that it's probably because all of a sudden we're thinking non stop at a million miles per second all day, every day even in our sleep....but whateves.  I have sticky notes all over the place. Reminders in my phone. Dry erase markers on my mirrors. Paper taped to the door to the garage....and I still am always forgetting.  That just must mean that I'm a super fantastic mom...yeah, that's for sure.

Heat Wave!

Okay, it's summer.  In the summer, the air gets hot. Always. Every single year.  I don't get why people are all freaking out.  We don't have AC and haven't complained once.   Okay, okay...my husband has.  But I have not.  B and I throw on our swimsuits and head to the baby pool on the deck or go downstairs to play where it is a bit cooler.  If it gets bad enough, we hop in the car and go to Target or the mall.  I just feel like everyone is being so super whiny.  Hellloooo you were bitching about winter for so long and now summer is here.  SUCK IT UP!

unless your job is to work outside, then that sucks.

Dear AF

I hate you.  While I agree that you are useful at sometimes (like telling me I'm not knocked up and...ah, that's it) I'd rather  you just weren't here.  We had a great thing going, you know, while I was pregnant and pumping my boobs off to feed B, but you just came back a little too soon.

I know I will appreciate you again at some time, but today, the hottest day of the year, I do not. We don't have AC, remember??   And seriously, there isn't a Chinese restaurant open yet, so I need you to just settle yourself down for a few, mkay?

Suck it AF and your friend endometriosis. 

I'm a mom and during naptime I do gross things...

Like make a ton of Brussels sprouts, eat them and ENJOY them! Oh they were so stinking good. My husband hates them, like most other people, but I love them!  If you care to know how I prepare them, I peel the outer leaves off, cut off the bottom and then cut them in half. Then I put a bit of olive oil and a crap ton of minced garlic into the pan.  Add the sprouts, some salt and pepper.  I cook them on lowish for about 20 minutes, stirring every so often.  Wait until the sprouts turn bright green and the inside has turned a little bit brown.  They should be much softer with a tiny crunch. MMMM i love them! 

Sink of Sadness

My son has never nursed.  He was put in the NICU for jaundice when he was born 4 weeks early and they got him stuck on bottles.  Since he was 2 weeks old I have been attached to my Medela Breast Pump.  I had gotten to be such an over producer that I have donated many ounces to a sweet baby boy in need.   I also had 2000oz of frozen milk in my freezer, awesome! 

I keep a running total of exactly how much milk is in the freezer. There is enough frozen milk to last Bryson 2.5 months.  That means until he is 12mo old he would have more than enough breast milk! Sweet, I can FINALLY quit pumping!  I started the process about a week and a half ago and I was just about to put my breast pump away for good...
...and then I went downstairs to get a bag of milk out. "oh no..." I backed away from the freezer "no, no no....no no..." and this is where I start sobbing uncontrollably and run upstairs to call my mom. (Hubs was working, so I knew he wouldn't answer and I needed to talk to someone NOW)

Now, B was playing in the exersaucer and didn't make a peep, other than his shreeks of excitement while playing for the next 30 minutes. Thank god for my mom.  She came over, helped clean up the mess and let me cry for a little bit.

This is where the sink of sadness comes in. I had to empty out all of the bags of milk....I just watched all my loving hard work go down the drain, 10oz at a time....this is the aftermath

  I didn't cry anymore until I was in the shower that night.  Then I sobbed again.  I had to let it all out.  How the heck did this happen?! I worked so hard and for so long to make sure my son had breast milk until he was a year old!! 

I decided I could feel bad until the next morning, but then it was just another day.  No more dwelling on it, being sad wasn't going to bring all my milk back.  It also isn't going to feed the babe. 

So, here I go, back at it. I am now re-lactating. For someone who NEVER had an issue with supply before, this blows.  I'm on Fenugreek, drinking tons of water and Mothers Milk tea and pumping every 3 hours. SUCK.  But it's for my baby.  My sweet amazing little boy.  He deserves this if I can give it to him. 

Go ahead, feel bad for me.  I know you want to!

This is the last thing I will say about this.

Casey Anthony,  just because you were proven not guilty does not make you innocent.  I pray that there is justice for Caylee one day.  In the end, you are lucky to have to face the court of public opinion for now but God will make you face what you did.
I agree, there was no murder weapon with your prints on it, no confession, nothing that 100% points to you.  The jury did their job, and I'll respect that though I don't agree with it. I am sure that the public will make you pay.  I doubt your life will be as glamorous as you think it will. Have fun writing your books and making your made-for-tv movies. You'll blow through that money and be right back at your parent's house in no time, that is if they let you come back.
My heart broke when I heard that you wrote in a letter that when you were free you were going to get pregnant and have another baby.  Even if you didn't kill Caylee, you need HELP before you have another child. You and your entire family.

Now, back to life. 

WHAT THE HELL!?

I am shocked. I am sick to my stomach.  Her lies paid off.  She's "not guilty". 



So...who did it?

What about Caylee?

The Verdict is IN! **updated**

Okay, I'm crazy. I get that and I've not denied it.  The verdict is in. It is going to be read in 45 minutes. I feel like I'm going to puke, I'm a little sweaty and my mouth is dry.  Dang, wonder how Casey feels. Actually, I don't care how Casey feels. She killed her baby. Her sweet, beautiful, gift from God.  I hope the jury thinks the same thing.

**update**

It's 1:55.  We have 20 more minutes until we find out what happens to Casey Anthony.  I'm not going to lie, since I updated a few minutes ago, I got the nervous poops.

I can't imagine how George and Cindy Anthony are feeling right now.

Turns out I'm like the 4th of July Grinch. (updated)

My kid is a sound sleeper. The dogs can bark and wrestle, run laps and he sleeps through it. Apparently not everything is so easy to sleep through though.  Fireworks should not be allowed in areas where there is anyone else.

It's like all of a sudden, I hate the beautiful fireballs, fountains and sparks that just last year I loved.

Anyways, if you're shooting off fireworks in the vicinity of my home, be thankful that we just moved in and I refuse to be the neighborhood bitch,  yet.

***Update***

Okay, so B got to sleep, hubs and I got in bed (which seriously after moving and unpacking for two days is like the best feeling in the entire world).  1:20am BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM. nice.  Hey new neighbors who I'm trying not to make hate me at the moment, I know you're hammered, I get that being drunk makes fire like, so much cooler, but could you just light a fountain or smoke bomb or something instead? 

Casey Anthony. pt2

Really Casey?! Why couldn't you testify?? I'm sure that your whack-a-do lawyer told you it probably wasn't a great idea, but seriously what does he know? Oh he knows you're a compulsive liar and killed your sweet, beautiful baby girl? ah, gotcha.  Damn. Well, just so you know I really wanted to hear the lies you had to tell. You're guilty. You killed your baby. Everyone knows it.

So, yesterday I was waiting all day for Casey to take the stand with "wishing and hoping and thinking and praying" (as performed at the beginning of My Best Friend's Wedding) all damn day.  Then I was let down, only to be amazingly entertained by this little gem.

http://youtu.be/CLos0aNQMRc

I have got to say, I haven't laughed at something so hard in a long time. What an idiot! And seriously, who flips people off that way? If you're going to do it, do it with some feeling and anger.  Really put yourself into it!  Matthew Bartlett, Thank you. Thank you for the entertainment, you made my day.  Hope you're not getting violated while you serve your 6 days in prison.

Casey Anthony.

Oops, I meant to post this a few days ago...

My Hubs and I have been watching since the whole thing started in the summer of 2008.  I remember packing for our honeymoon watching Nancy Grace (this was before she was super-hella annoying) being amazed by the whole thing.  We watched every night.

Now I'm addicted to the trial.  I've been waiting for it since they found sweet baby Caylee's body.

My theory is and has always been that she was drugging her kid so she could go out and party.  One night it went wrong.  Well, that's what I think at least.   Casey's mom, Cindy, said that she was the one that "accidentally" looked up chloroform. I doubt it. I don't know if I could not at least try to help my child out.  I mean she already lost her granddaughter, now possibly lose her daughter?

The whole thing is a circus. and the whole family seems pretty screwed up.

This Kronk guy who found the body is acting a little shady.  I wonder what he doing, maybe covering his own behind? he's changed his story a few times...hm...

If it wasn't Casey who killed her sweet, beautiful child I'll be shocked, along with millions of other people. I really hope the truth comes out though.

But who am I kidding, she did it.

Who does that!?

Drunk Woman Shoots Cop with Breastmilk

"We thought this was a given, but let us reiterate: we are huge fans of breastfeeding and are fully aware that a mama’s milk does babies good, but it should not be used as a weapon.

Ohio woman Stephanie Robinette whipped her breast out of her dress on Saturday and started squirting police with her breast milk when they responded to a domestic dispute call her husband made about her. Apparently she had gotten drunk at a wedding and struck him several times before locking herself in a car.

Sheriff Walter L. Davis III said, "This is a prime example of how alcohol can make individuals do things they would not normally do," which is really giving Robinette the benefit of the doubt. After I throw back a few drinks I usually want to just sing a lot of karaoke. But to each her own.

Fortunately, no injuries were reported, and Robinette has since apologized. "I have no criminal record; I take these charges very seriously and I absolutely intend to seek help for substance abuse with alcohol because alcoholism does run in my family," she said. It sounds like Robinette, a teacher at a charter school, has learned this lesson the hard way."

From Parenting.Com

I mean she looks pretty classy, so this must have been totally necessary.

Okay, Okay...I'll admit, I've done it.  But only to my husband and only because it was hilarious to watch him process what was happening.   But seriously, I would spray a whole lot of people with my boobs before I spray a cop!  (The line up as of now is: Hubs, Little dog,  a homeless guy,  Matt Lauer, then Cop, ..a few down the line..My dad and then Jesus.  I only put Jesus after my dad because I don't think dad would approve of me spraying Jesus in the face with breastmilk.)

For real though, glad she's getting help, because Who does that?!